Post by pdanielw on Nov 10, 2020 16:23:44 GMT 9
Portland, it's been fun, but it is time to move on to bigger and better things. Bigger and better being West Virginia.
New ownership has arrived and with that comes a bit of house cleaning. Out goes the weirdness of outdoor hipster coffee studios only open for artisanal brunch. In comes the welcoming aroma of pepperoni rolls and coal dust. Being born and bred in WV, and knowing that the state could really use something to distract from the rampant heart disease, obesity, and opioid epidemics, we have decided to move an NBA franchise into the middle of Appalachia.
Rednecks, mountain men, God-fearing racists, kissing cousins, drug-addled shells of humans, call us what you will. Somehow, West Virginians take pride in being all of these things. But what you'll be calling our Franchise is none of the above. From here on out, God and admins willing, we'll be known as the West Virginia HillJacks. The HillJack name stems from our upbringings in the foothills of beautiful WV mountains and the fact that we're pretty good at a lot of things (without being great at any of them). Our team will be situated in these same foothills and we hope to be constructed of the type of players who can do a kinda ok job at damn near everything on the basketball court (without being great at any of them).
We ain't got a lot of money, so we've secured a few local junior high schools to give us gym time until we can save up enough to get a proper arena along the banks of the mighty Little Kanawha River. Trust us, it'll be worth the wait.
I hereby claim this name for eternity.